🐈 It's Time You Meet Leo

4 September 2019


Sometimes, I find it very hard to take myself seriously and it's usually about anything that has to do with this blog. Since "😳[Relationship Series] I'm An Introvert" was posted a month ago, there has been little life here. Actually, more could have been said and shared, and I was around blogwalking from one amazing blog to another. Still, I just couldn't find that feeling of writing anything. 

That is until today. I've been keeping it to myself for a while (excluding my social media heheh) and I'm ready to dedicate a special introduction about him. In fact, I really believe it can sort of make up for the seriously long and unnecessary blog hiatus I've taken. 

I want to talk about LEO.

Who is Leo? Well, take a fine good look at himπŸ’–:

The sweetest ball of floof ever!

Leo is a mixed breed (Persion/Local) kitten we've recently taken under our wings since about two weeks ago. I wrote a long story about how he came to our doorstep in my stories but I'll spare you the details.

He's about four weeks old and is already learning to play and sniff around the house to explore. We're currently keeping him separated in a spare toilet specially dedicated to be his temporary bedroom. This is totally necessary because we already have a 3-year old cat, Dessi living in with us and she's a mighty jealous feline with the most horrible social skills you can find anywhere. While we wait till he grows a little older, Dessi can learn to get used to his scent and seeing him being paraded around the house from afar. She still hisses a little whenever she sees him but that's just about it for now.

At first when we found Leo, he was in a really bad shape. A male cat had isolated him out from the rest of the litter who were living next door and dropped him from a high wall that separated between both our houses. We had attempted to put Leo back to be with his mother again but not long after, the same male cat dropped him back on the concrete floor in our backyard. After what happened, we couldn't risk putting him back in case the male cat was around and that maybe he wouldn't survive the third fall. We wrapped him up in a fresh new towel and placed him inside a basket outside our kitchen. As much as we wanted to take him in, he just seemed so young and small for us to care for him. His mother was his best option.

The second night we had Leo

Unfortunately, his mother never claimed him and we decided that his fate was better with us. That was about two weeks ago and it felt like such a long time. He's fitting right in with all of us and I think we missed having a kitten to play with and take care of. He's a stark contrast to Dessi and in a way, we like the difference. While Dessi is more of a tough hunter sort of cat who keeps the house pest-free from cockroaches, flies, lizards, etc., Leo is gentle and likes to cuddle his fellow hoomans. There's a good balance having them around the house and I am SO GOING TO MISS HIM once the semester starts next week. T_T

Another great news is that another kitten from the same litter got rescued too and is safely being cared for by our neighbour. His name is Baby (don't ask but you have to admit, it suits him) and he is such an angel! He was in a similarly bad shape when he was found, what with the recent heavy rain and the fact that we think their mother had abandoned them. Baby was very skinny, with cramps in his back legs so that when he walked, he was sort of limping. He's currently recovering from worms and the last I've heard about him is that he's gaining some weight and making his hoomans very happy. I can't wait for Leo and Baby to meet up someday!

Baby

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This may not be the kind of post you were expecting from me after weeks of being MIA. Still, I think I could do with a break from producing more posts for the relationship series until another great idea appears. I have about a week left before the new semester begins and Leo is doing a great job at keeping me busy all day. I hope I can come home every weekend to see how he's doing (and Dessi of course heh). 

What do you think about Leo? Do you have a special furry friend like Leo at home too? Share your stories with me!




😳[Relationship Series] I'm An Introvert

30 July 2019


Whether most are aware of this or not - I'm an introvert. I'm not sure if it's just me or this is something a lot of introverts face whenever we have to disclose what sort of person we are, but the reactions we get can sometimes be priceless. Some people who personally know me in real life think it's a far fetched notion and refuse to believe that I am one, while for others, it just makes sense. It's not that hard to picture me enjoying my time with small company, skipping small talks and chatting about something real and quietly excusing myself just to recharge my "social battery" with what a little bit of seclusion can offer.


Being an introvert has its many perks but to be honest, it took a while for me to come around and  acknowledge that part about me. One reason for this is because back then, I honestly didn't like being one. There's actually nothing wrong with being an introvert but the world seems to have a different perspective on that. They label us as shy, lacking of confidence and quiet. "I wish you speak up more" and "You're a little bit quiet, aren't you?" are just some of the comments I think we all have heard of before.

My point here is, we're not seen as sociable creatures in contrast to those with a more bubbly personality that everybody thinks should be the way for everyone else. However, I think it's funny that such expectations are there for us because if everybody is talking all at once, who is actually listening and critically analysing what is being said? And if everybody is talking, it just makes it harder to give turns for others to participate and contribute. We advocate things like acceptance of diversity among people but imposing the idea that being different or at least in this case, an introvert, is defective goes against everything we stand for.

Being an introvert doesn't make you any less successful than others and I think where I stand now is a good proof of that. I don't know if anybody has noticed this but the gap duration between when this post was published and the previous one is pretty big. It has nothing to do with me being busy but I was actually having a pretty hard time to talk about this topic in the best way that I can. It's really personal and that's what made it so difficult because I'm not used to writing about MYSELF.

I recently came across this website by PURE LUCK and for all the introverts out there, it is a safe haven to read up about yourself and know how much you're worth it. I wish I can whip up a better post but I think this is the best that I can do (for now). Until next timeeee, thank you for reading!
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Photo credit above: Georgia de Lotz on Unsplash

🀷[Relationship Series] What If You're The Toxic One?

9 July 2019


In today’s post, I’d like to dive in a little deeper to a different topic that somewhat relates to what I was talking about in my previous post: [Relationship Series] Be Selfish: Build That Self-Love. Loving yourself unconditionally is and should always will be your top priority and because of that, accepting your flaws is one way to prove to yourself that you have what it takes to be a better you. 

You know how we’re always told to avoid toxicity and the people it possesses like there’s fire burning at our heels? It’s true, we should, we must. But then again, nobody can truly run far from being toxic. I’m not validating or supporting the people who make our lives miserable because believing that being toxic is simply a personality trait is nothing but a terribly weak excuse. What I do believe in though is that as a human being, we’re all made up of a ball of complexity with all the good and bad bits that make us who we are. We’re not entirely perfect but there’s never real pressure to be one. Who needs to be? 


We may be a good or bad person (or both), but whoever we are, I think just about anyone can fall into toxicity – this includes ourselves too and at some point of our lives, we have to admit that there could be times when we may be contributing to our own hardships. 



🌼 You're Not Alone...


Personally, I'm guilty of this problem and I also know that the people I keep close have spotted several of my toxic behaviours. So, just as it is difficult for you to read this, it’s hard for me to admit my flaws out in the open too. My purpose to write this post is so that I can raise some awareness that toxicity doesn’t always have to come from somebody else. Sometimes, we can hurt ourselves and others more than we think. To be less toxic means we’re working to become a better person, to be somebody we would like – drama and toxic free. 



🌼 It's Not The End. You're Actually Getting Better!


Having somebody else like me to say straight up to you that “You’re toxic” is a tough fact to swallow. Believe me, it’s hard for me to accept that I can sometimes be THE problem too. To remember those times when I overanalysed situations and think the worst of somebody else. To giving excuses for myself and my accountability for problems I thought had nothing to do with me. To the times when I rationalised that somebody else’s pain could never triumph over my own. 


The problem when you start realising you’re toxic is that the guilt can be terribly overwhelming. But it’s okay to feel those things because self-awareness doesn’t come easy. Being mature about yourself is to admit that you can be imperfect and knowing that there’s always a way to work on them. However, being toxic means deflecting that possibility. 

🌼 How Do I Spot Toxicity When I See It?


You don’t. Well, at least it’s not as obvious as you think it is. Just as Chelsy Ranard described in The Ladders, toxicity can mean how you make people feel and the kind of vibes you’re sending them. Some of the signs you may spot may include these:

πŸ’€ You tend to exercise control over others

πŸ’€ Blame others first for your problems
πŸ’€ It's not easy to let go of the things or people that hurt you
πŸ’€ You express love or admiration when you're after something
πŸ’€ It's hard to admit you can be wrong to someone
πŸ’€ Listening patiently to others is hard
πŸ’€ Many people have little to compliment about you and you make many enemies, etc.

How we can be toxic isn't only limited in romantic relationships. It can happen in family relationships, friendships, work relationships, etc. Even if we're completely toxic-free with our partner or friends, it might not be the same case with somebody else we know. Sometimes, we let ourselves get carried away with being toxic because we think we have little to lose.


🌼 Life Isn't Over Yet. You Can Turn Things The Right Way Around.

I'd like to remind us again that we're not perfect, nobody is. Realising that we're a toxic person doesn't mean that our fates are sealed to become one forever. We can change that and it starts from doing something about it. Toxic behaviours are learned but we can also remove them over time. We can start with stopping from gossiping, being less rude to have attention and respect, avoiding judging others and assuming without basis, quitting on acting out on our emotions and anger and reminding ourselves to start noticing the effects our actions and words have on others and how we react to that. 

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Toxicity can affect even the best of us. Breaking ourselves away from its chains cannot happen overnight because these things naturally take time. Remind yourself as you break one chain at a time that we can only be happier once we let go of the things that keep the best of life away. 


References:
1. The List 
2. Medium 
3. Mind Body Green 
4. The Ladders 

πŸ’–[Relationship Series] Be Selfish: Build That Self-Love

27 June 2019


Loving others comes easy but when it's about applying that same feeling to ourselves, it's complicated and sometimes we take ourselves for granted. Perhaps the feeling comes more easily when it's about overlooking whatever faults or imperfections others may have, but we can't be equally generous in forgiving ourselves. I think it comes from the urgency to be better, to be the best image of perfection we can be and because of that, anything less simply won't do.

I never thought there'd come a day I'll be writing on something like this. Not ever and for many good reasons with one in particular - I'm battling my own uninvited demons from time to time. With something like that going on, it's hard to convince myself that I can be THE person who gives people bits of advices on how they should handle theirs. Despite that, this may be a step for me to see myself in a better light and because so many of us are also similarly facing the same thing, perhaps we can talk about how to better ourselves in terms of giving the heart a break and some love. 

But do take note that this post isn't going to be a mindblowing post from me nor can I guarantee that it will it heal your hearts. I can only hope that it will help you to know that you're not alone. For you to be happier, it has to start from you and you should never be the person to give up on yourself. With that in mind, here are a few points for us to think about on our way to self-love and self-acceptance:

🌼 Perfection? Oh, we don't know her...         

One problem that we unconsciously do to ourselves is setting conditions to our self-love. To let yourself go and be happy, you need to first lose some weight, get those As, land that dream job you've always wanted and the list goes on. Of course, there's nothing wrong to have a list of goals you want to achieve someday, but it doesn't mean you can't appreciate the human being you are as of this moment. We also sometimes forget that not being able to achieve any of these things doesn't make us a failure either. Some things just take more time and a few more attempts to work before we can get them. At one point, you either get them or don't... or something better appears in its place.

I think personally, this is an advice that's the hardest for me to swallow and accept. This is simply because I've always been driven to be the best at whatever I do. Failing to meet the standards I've set for myself means I've lost and getting back up to try again would be impossible. And sometimes, I feel that I need to fulfil expectations of others when really, putting myself first and what matters to me the most should be the priority.

🌼 Sometimes, it's a matter of choice...

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Leah Davis in The Sweetest Way wrote:
When you’re making poor choices, choices that defy what you know in your heart to be right, you never will know self-love.
It's hard to love yourself when you don't make good choices in your life. We make it an impossible task to see what's there to love about ourselves when our choices don't define who we are. It's true, we don't have any control of what's to happen to us but we do have the power over ourselves and how we deal with different circumstances. Making choices we don't feel are right can lead to a never-ending cycle of guilt and frustration, and self-love may seem to be the last thing you think you're entitled to.

Occasionally I've been in that situation before where making the bad choices seem the easiest way out in dealing with my problems. Later I learnt that sometimes the good choices aren't easy to take up but when I do, I feel proud of myself. For once, I think I'm back on track at figuring out life.

🌼 Express how you feel...

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Although I'm still working on self-love, I've noticed that opening up my feelings to those who I trust makes things a little more bearable. It took a lot of advices and assurances to be drilled into my head that it's okay to unburden all those feelings to someone else who can share it with me. Saying "I'm fine" which mirrors the exact opposite of how I feel makes me feel more alone and it doesn't solve my problems either. Of course, it takes time for me to even disclose my feelings because I like to get a hold of myself first. Everybody has their own timeline and different methods work differently for each of us. This may be difficult for some people such as it is for me but opening up to others doesn't make you more vulnerable. I think its a step to honesty and embracing your feelings, both the good and bad. 

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When it comes to learning to love yourself and accepting the beautiful version that you are, it takes time and consistency not only on your part but the people around you too.
We need to be taught to love aspects of ourselves—again and again—by the people around us. 

🌟 What Stars Like Us Do 🌟

20 June 2019

[A poem]

πŸ“Ί First Time Reviewing a Movie: I am Mother [Netflix]

11 June 2019

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Photo source One Angry Gamer

I haven't watched movies that extensively until just lately and based on what I can remember, I am Mother was definitely worth the watch. It's not a new "new" movie having been first screened in January this year but it was aired 3 days ago on Netflix.